Thanks to BlindDate the old Jacuzzi tactic has been a consistent trick for honey gunnin young men everywhere. It’s a simple combination that even tactless gentleman can remember: Girl + Guy + Bubbles = Poon.

Sorry Matt,

but as much as male society needs a replacement for the “club and drag to cave” sure trick of yestermillenia, the ol’ jacuzzi gag doesn’t meet our evolutionary requirements and should be discouraged.

Why you say? I love that damn Jacuzzi you say? Me too young friend, but……

Prolonged exposure to heat temporarily slows your swim team into a couple million rice krispies. Basically if you dunk your junk for long enough you’ll be shootin blanks for days.

Sad that one of the greatest modern woman snaring inventions is futile in preserving society. There is hope though!

Skinny Dipping… (in room temperature water or colder of course)

The Romantic Comedy is an evolutionary tool to encourage human procreation. It has inspired millions of young men to ignore their utter pathetic-ness in blind belief that an unabashed quest for sex with disinterested girl can end in something besides public humiliation.

Amidst the piles of emotional rubble, through sheer statistical force (and alchohol) many of these hapless young men have succeeded on such quests.

THE EXTINCTION INCIDENT: BROMANTIC COMEDIES

Poisoning the minds of countless 12 years breeders Superbad has removed sex as the main goal of the modern “teen sex comedy”.

Romance is dead. Bromance Killed it.

Expect to be seeing many more youngster trolling around with an awkward male friend as the trend of “ambiguously gay teen duos” continues with Pineapple Express

Hello world. I feel it is my civic duty to point out things you are doing that may cause annihilation.

I think we are going to become good friends.